Thursday, February 19, 2009

Tips on making that first time most enjoyable?

What advice would you give to a man who wants to ensure that a woman's first experience with sexual intercourse is as comfortable and enjoyable as possible?

Thank you so much for your question. It is very promising that this woman will have an enjoyable first experience with sexual intercourse given your concern and consideration!
Because we don't know how much other sexual activity you have had with this person, it might be a good place to start with getting to know each other's bodies. Figuring out what feels good and what it's like to communicate sexually may work wonders for minimizing anxiety and/or pain with intercourse...and, of course, getting the most pleasure out of that experience!
Give each other lots of time to explore. Find a place that is calm and comfortable without distractions or interruptions. Go slowly- there will always be the opportunity to revisit the possibility of intercourse; instead, focus on having fun and feeling good (by touching, kissing, caressing...and communicating).
While some women do not experience pain with penetration, pain, or discomfort, can be part of a woman's first experience with intercourse. Spending lots of time on outercourse/foreplay and arousal will help a woman lubricate herself naturally- and water-based lubrication can do wonders as well! Put some lube at the tip of the inside of an unrolled condom, on the outside of the condom, and/or on the entrance of the vagina. If a woman is relaxed (including her vaginal muscles!), penetration will be much more enjoyable as well. Sometimes, experimenting with different positions can increase the pleasure and comfort for both you and your partner. has lots of (animated!) recommendations for different positions.
Other things to address beforehand that might make the situation more comfortable is the "safer" sex talk....If you two are comfortable having intercourse, it would relieve an entire layer of potential complication and tension to clear up (in advance) what contraceptive and barrier devices you both would like to use. Making sure one/both of you know how to properly put on a condom will ensure that that sort of stuff doesn't take away/distract from all the other emotions/excitement of the moment. And she may feel more confident if there is another contraceptive used in addition to a condom. There are many options and she may want to make an appointment with a women's health provider to discuss her options (hormonal methods and some non-hormonal methods require a prescription).
Finally, the first time can be awkward - or at least less-than-cinema-worthy. There may be discomfort, there may be lots of vaginal lubrication, there may be no orgasms, there may be earth-shattering climaxes...The pressure is off that first time if you both go into it knowing that there is lots of room for improvement and lots of time to take things slowly :)

Saturday, February 14, 2009


Where can you get spermicide in Hanover?

As you may already know, spermicide helps to immobilize sperm and/or block the cervix. It does have its benefits (i.e. relatively cheap, available without a prescription, can be used like a lube).

You can purchase spermicides at CVS in Hanover. They have spermicide gels and spermicide films. The gel is usually inserted into the vagina (sometimes with an applicator) or can be rubbed over the penis. It is also used with diaphragms, cervical caps or condoms. The film is folded and inserted into the vagina. After about 15 minutes, it should dissolve on the cervix.

Before you use spermicide, you should be aware of some of the downsides. Spermicide can cause an allergic reaction (usually from a main ingredient called "nonoxynol-9 (N9)") that is not only irritable to you or your partner but can also cause abrasions that *increase* the risk of STI transmission! Women also report higher rates of UTIs (urinary tract infections), and when used alone, spermicides are *not* very effective.

Condoms have proven to be much more effective overall, and while some argue that combined use of spermicides and condoms increase overall birth control efficacy (because spermicides offer no STI safety), there is some concern that spermicides actually degrade the quality of condoms. There are many people who use spermicides quite happily -and you very well may be among them- but it is best to be informed and use it with caution!

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Active Sexperts and Their Bios?

Is there still a blitz bulletin of the names of active Sexperts and their bios on blitz or did it expire already?

Yes! It accidentally expired - but it should be on the blitz bulletin now. We only post bios on blitz to keep people's names and information within the Dartmouth community. Let us know if you have any difficultly accessing the Sexperts bulletin!

Thanks for noticing :)